Lately I have been intrigued by the phrase, ‘Saying Yes to Life’. I get excited about the concept, and I imagine a life filled with joy and purpose when it is lived from this perspective.

I know in my body what it means for me. I want to tell others about what I am learning. And, I am struggling with what words to use. How do I share in a way that makes sense to others?

[pullquote width=”300″ float=”right”]I am looking ahead with curiosity and excitement.[/pullquote]

I wrote a post on this theme yesterday. I asked my husband to proof read it. In the past when he has done this for me he has one or two typos to point out, and all is well. This time was different. He didn’t get what I was trying to say. His questions were valid, and I realized that my words were not communicating the ideas I longed to share.

Rather than give up, I am choosing to try again. To reframe, to edit, to dig deeper and use language that says what I mean.

What do I mean when I use the phrase, ‘Say yes to life’?

I imagine myself standing on the edge of a field with arms wide open. I am expecting abundance and adventure to greet me. Rather than bracing myself for disaster, and seeing life from a deficit perspective, I am looking ahead with curiosity and excitement.

Saying yes is a vulnerable act. I am learning that fully embracing joy in my life is not easy. Brene Brown, in her latest book, Dare to Lead, says that we have the tendency to ‘wait for the other shoe to drop’ when we get good news. This keeps us from fully experiencing joy. I find it takes courage for me to celebrate with abandon, rather than worry about what bad thing might happen next.

As Brene Brown reminds us:

‘The collateral damage of this instinct is that we squander the joy we need to build up an emotional reserve, the joy that allows us to build up resilience for when tragic things do happen.’ (p. 82).

I say yes to life when I accept what happens, rather than resisting and wanting things to be different. I have noticed that this attitude of acceptance opens up space for me to be creative and I have more energy to do the things I want to do.

Saying yes means I am willing to receive. I see myself as worthy of being loved. I have come to enjoy what I call the ‘gift exchange’ in my relationships. When I receive graciously and without apology, the person giving to me is receiving my appreciation and love.

A new area of growth for me is the willingness to say yes to feeling deep sadness. When I say yes to grief, this means I give myself permission to feel sad for as long as it takes. I feel my feelings, rather than  numbing them. I say yes to being vulnerable with trusted friends and accepting their support. My heart feels tender and soft these days. As a result, I notice I have more empathy for others in their sadness. I notice a deeper connection to my father as we remember my mother and share sweet moments together.

I say yes when I am willing to have what I call a ‘courageous conversation’. There are times of misunderstanding and hurt feelings in my relationships. I choose to check out what the other person is experiencing and listen carefully for what my part might be in the breakdown. Rather than turning away, I lean in and say yes to clearing up our relationship. The joy that follows is such a gift and reminds me to keep saying yes to clarity in my relationships.

I say yes to life when I care for myself. This means that I may say no to relationships or situations that are not life giving for me. I may say no to certain foods or activities that are not best for my health. And, I say yes to long walks in nature, to playing with my grandchildren and time alone with a good book. There are so many chances to say yes to pleasure in my life and I want to continue to enjoy them.

I am feeling energized and grateful as I reflect on what it means for me to say yes to life.

[question]Where do you say yes in your life? I look forward to hearing from you. [/question]


6 Comments

Mary Lou · October 18, 2018 at 5:29 pm

Well said Marj! You’ve spoken about a difficult topic for most of us to wrap our minds around . I thinks you’ve painted a clear picture of the challenge, as well as the reward ,of saying “ yes” to life .

    Marjorie · November 8, 2018 at 4:12 pm

    Thank you for your thoughtful comments, Mary Lou. I am happy that this post has resonated with you. And, I know that the challenges of ‘saying yes’ are worth the effort! Joy and a sense of satisfaction are often the result.

Janet E Boldt · October 19, 2018 at 9:29 am

Thank you Marjorie. I think these words reflect reality for many of us these days. I love that you’re writing again. That too is saying yes.

    Marjorie Warkentin · November 8, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    I am encouraged by your reminder that by writing I am ‘saying yes’. Thanks for your acknowledgment that you can relate to my ideas in this post.

Margaret · October 23, 2018 at 9:47 am

Dear Marjorie, Thanks for challenging me with this post. I found the title Saying Yes to Life too much to take on at first, but your clarifying piece made sense in nuanced ways, so I’m still working with it. At the moment I’m at “looking ahead with curiosity and excitement”.

    Marjorie Warkentin · November 8, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    Dear Margaret,
    Thanks for ‘leaning in’ to the ideas I am playing with. I am curious to hear more from you and talk together about ‘saying yes’ and what it looks like in our lives. Thanks for your comments!

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