Resilience and Renewal: Reflections on my Road Trip

Look at those mountains!

See how the lake glitters in the setting sun.

I forgot how big the prairie sky is. Those clouds are spectacular.

These are only a few of the comments you would have heard as my husband and I took a road trip across the western provinces to visit my family in Winnipeg last month.

The ever changing landscape and the beauty of Nature were a gift to me on this trip. It has been many years since I have driven this journey, and I was surprised at the beauty of each stage of the adventure.

As we drove, I found myself wondering what this visit would be like. It would be the first time back ‘home’ since my mother died. How would my father be? Would I be able to support him? Would I be okay visiting his apartment and not being greeted by my mother’s warm smile?

Here is what occurred for me. I was struck by the resilience of Nature and I wondered if I would see this in my father as well. Would I see it in myself?

Here is what I mean.

We decided to go to Waterton National Park on our way to Winnipeg. This is the spot where we spent a week on our honeymoon, forty-five years ago! It is a place of magnificent mountains, lakes and hiking trails.

One year ago a huge forest fire destroyed many of the trails and the areas in the park. We had heard about this, and we were surprised at the devastation. We were unable to hike the trails we remembered from so many years ago and we felt sad at the changes in the park.

[pullquote width=”300″ float=”right”]The cycle of Nature is slow and steady[/pullquote]

We were able to walk on some trails and saw what was happening after the fire. Even though trees had blackened bark, they were still standing. There were wild flowers growing along the path and we saw signs of new life.

We talked to the townspeople and heard stories of how they pulled together when the evacuation order came, and how they are working together to keep the town alive now. The sense of community and love for their town is evident.

Hearing these stories and seeing the cycles in nature were encouraging to me. I trusted that our time with my dad would be healing and loving. Even in our sadness.

My father and I spent time remembering mom. He talked about their wedding anniversary and showed me the poetry he has been writing. We shared tears and laughter. Visiting the cemetery together and then going out for a lunch of hotdogs and onion rings was a perfect way to spend a day together.

Yes, there is still grief. And, the mourning is happening. There is a sense of tenderness in my father, and a desire to keep on living his life with a new schedule and focus. I see resilience in him. And, maybe it is renewal. Life will never be the same, and he seems able to accept that.

For myself, I am observing the messiness of mixed emotions I am experiencing. I am being gentle with myself, and reaching out for support from trusted friends. The cycle of Nature is slow and steady. The timing of new growth and healing is never rushed. Resilience is possible for me too.