Christmas has come and gone. The tree with its lights and beautiful decorations no longer glows in the corner of our living room. Our neighbourhood is dark without the outdoor lights and holiday displays. The Christmas baking is long gone! Even the left-over turkey has been eaten.

This time of year is bitter-sweet for me. I love Christmas music and the chances to celebrate with friends and family. I even enjoy the shopping. Maybe it’s because of my grandchildren that I take such pleasure in the gift choosing and giving. I get to hang out in toy stores!

Here I am at the beginning of January and I feel a mix of emotions. On one hand, I feel sad that
Christmas is over. And, there is a part of me that delights in the whole process of decluttering. I feel a sense of possibility as I see the space that opens up when the decorations are put away.

[pullquote width=”300″ float=”right”]I focus on how I want to feel[/pullquote]

I reflect on the spaciousness of the New Year ahead of me.

What will 2019 bring for me?

What will I bring to the new year?

I used to have a long list of New Year’s Resolutions. No more. Instead of burdening myself with
unrealistic goals and setting myself up for disappointment when I fail to complete them, I now do something else.

I choose a Word for the Year.

I know that some of you reading this have also taken up this practice. For the past six years I have chosen a word that has supported and grounded me throughout that year. I have found that the words are still with me, even after the year ends. As a result, I have a beautiful bouquet of words to reflect on and treasure.

As I thought about this year, I focused on how I wanted to feel. What word would remind me of who I want to be?

Life has been heavy for me this past year. There have been losses and I have struggled with finding joy. I realized I have a longing to feel happy and light-hearted. Last week I was walking in the woods, and the word came to me.

Lightness

I felt energized and free as this word came to mind. Here are some of the concepts that came up for me as I played with this word:

laughter
freedom
holding things lightly, rather than grasping or clinging
being able to laugh at myself, not taking things so seriously by over-thinking or worrying
not being stuck, or paralyzed by fear at what is ahead
the lightness in my energy will be a light to others and encourage them I can ‘rise above’ tough times and observe myself in the midst of the messiness of life
a belief that miracles are present every day

I am already being supported by this word. Today, I asked myself how the word Lightness could guide my writing. Here is what happened.

I have had fun sitting in my favourite coffee shop as I write. I am giving myself space to daydream, listen to music, and ‘people watch’ as I create. I am letting go of my need to be perfect or comparing myself with others. I celebrate the new shirt I am wearing. It is a peasant style that reminds me of my teen years…..and I feel a sense of lightness remembering those days!

This week I am also wondering how the word Lightness can help me in times of sorrow. What relevance does it have for me when I hear of the tragic, unexpected death of a friend’s mother? It almost feels disrespectful. As I have thought about this and asked a dear friend for her wisdom about this, I discovered another layer of meaning to my word.

The concept of lightness reminds me that life is uncertain and our physical bodies are impermanent. Can I hold my hands and heart open to this? I allow my tears to flow and my sadness to be present without pushing it away and pretending it doesn’t exist. I see my heavy heart as a gift that reminds me of the love I have for my friend. I am allowing the feelings to flow through me, and the lightness that emerges is healing.

I am excited and curious to discover more layers of meaning for my word this year. I will be sharing more as time goes by.