Musings on the Messiness of Life

‘It’s not fair!’

‘It’s my turn!’

‘Why can’t I stay up late too?’

These words were a common refrain as my husband and I recently cared for our grandchildren for six days. The idea that ‘life is not always fair’ was not an easy concept for them to accept.

I am here to tell you that it is not only my grandchildren that struggle with this. I do too!

In the midst of our childcare time we discovered a water leak in our home. The leak was repaired and then we realized that water had been flowing into the walls and floors for several weeks. As a result, floors will need to be replaced. Shower tiles will be ripped out and the walls dried before the tiles are replaced. We will need to move out of our home while the restoration work is being done.

It is almost Christmas. This means nothing will get started for several weeks. Who knows how long this will all take?

Life isn’t fair!

Why is this happening to me? Why now?

I struggle with feelings of anger, sadness and anxiety. My home is in upheaval. It is no longer a place of peaceful retreat. My energy is edgy and I am irritable and impatient. I worry about all the work that lies ahead. I find it challenging to relax in the midst of clutter and mess.

Then I remember what I told my young granddaughter. She was crying loudly and complaining about how unfair her life was. I said, ‘It is okay to be sad and cry. And there is a time to stop the tears and take some deep breaths.’ She was able to stop crying and settle her emotions with some slow, deep breathing. Minutes later she was contented and happy.

Could I apply this to myself? I had spent several days feeling the frustration and upset. What might it look like to stop and breathe?

Acceptance is my Word for this year. I have often thought of this word when I am in a place of upset or find myself wanting some direction in life. If I truly accept what is happening, it means I trust all will be well. I surrender to what I have no control over.

I focus my energy on what I can control.

How might this be relevant in the situation of my flooded home?

I have control over my attitude. I choose to focus on what I can be grateful for. I feel lighter and see myself as strong and capable, rather than a victim. I am grateful for insurance! The costs of renovations will be covered. I appreciate my husband’s leadership in communicating with the trades people and the insurance adjustors. He is a skilled woodworker and knows the right questions to ask. I am happy to have him take that on.

[pullquote width=”300″ float=”right”]Acceptance.
Trust.
Surrender. [/pullquote]

I am thankful that we did not have any furniture or belongings ruined by the water. I have also created a space of beauty in our home during this time. The Christmas tree glows with its lights and the decorations from over the years. Candles are lit and music fills the room. I have planned a gathering of friends in our home, in the midst of the chaos. We will share good food, conversation and focus on our love for each other, rather than the unfinished walls and piled up boxes.

As the Christmas season approaches, I am reminded of the very first Christmas. Life wasn’t fair then either. No room in the Inn? Talk about a messy time for a Mother and her newborn Son. And, yet, there was the beauty of a Miracle in the midst of all the uncertainty.

I wish you a wonderful Christmas as you experience the Peace of Acceptance and the Joy of Surrender and Trust. In the midst of the Messiness of Life.