Playing Together as a Family

I am home after my vacation. As I sip my coffee in a local coffee shop, I find myself wondering, ‘Did it really happen? Was our whole family actually at Disneyland last week?’

My husband and I fulfilled a dream of ours when we took our family to Disneyland for the week.

Dreams do come true!

We planned this for several years. At times we wondered if it would actually happen. We watched our savings account go up and down. We budgeted and made financial choices to support our vision. We wondered if it would work to travel as a group of 15. What if we wanted this more than our family? Could it actually work out?

The vacation was a fabulous success!

I have been reflecting on what created this experience of play, love and fun for all of us.

• We were in partnership with our family as we planned the time away. We chose dates that worked for everyone and there was a willingness to be flexible so all could join.
• We shared our excitement with our grandchildren. Each of them received a ‘stuffie’ for Christmas. These were Disney characters that they could play with and have as a reminder of the trip that would be happening.
• We set the intention to look for what was going well. We trusted that everyone would have fun and that is what happened.
• [pullquote width=”300″ float=”right”]Look for what is going well[/pullquote]As grandparents, we let go of specific expectations about what the week would look like. Each family had their own schedule and energy levels varied among all of us. We released each person to enjoy the time in their own way.
• We also created times of togetherness that allowed cousins to share the awe and wonder of this Magical Kingdom. Flying down a river raft ride and getting wet as we all shrieked and laughed was a highlight for me.
• Each family had their own hotel room. This balance of alone time and time as a group was a huge help in all of us feeling rested and able to be together for a week. A hotel that included a hot breakfast was a wonderful gift to us all.

For me, the true joy was in seeing each person playing in a way that fit their personality.

I loved seeing the individual families together, laughing and enjoying the excitement.

I am struck by the synchronicity of my theme word for this year being ‘PLAY’. What a great opportunity for me to express my intention to play as I spent the time with my family at Disneyland.

I have also become aware of what I call the ‘shadow side’ of play in my life.

The rest of the family left two days before my husband and I flew home. That meant we could go back to the park for another day. I was surprised at my resistance to this idea. I was curious as to why I would hesitate to spend another day playing. Especially since it would be a day for just the two of us! What could keep me from jumping at this opportunity?[pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”]I choose to keep playing[/pullquote]

I was able to get in touch with my feelings, and describe them to myself. I realized that I had a ‘story’ that I had reached my ‘upper limit’ in terms of how much play I could participate in. It was an unconscious belief that three days of play was all I deserved. Surely it was time to get back to work by now………

Instead of shaming myself for this belief, I practiced self-compassion and I chose to keep playing. What a magical day we had! I was able to relax into the spirit of fun and I loved every minute of our time together. Disneyland is not just for kids!

What now?

I am aware of my tendency to slip into ‘work mode’ now that I am back at home. Even though my husband and I are partners in managing household tasks, I pressure myself by making lists, rushing through the piles of laundry, and hurrying off to buy groceries the minute I am home. I think it is up to me to get it all done as quickly as possible.

I am experimenting with a different approach this time. I want to incorporate play into my chores. What does that look like?
[pullquote width=”300″ float=”right”]Let go of specific expectations[/pullquote]

I take time for a walk in nature even if the chores aren’t all done. I create time for a call with some dear friends. I take an afternoon nap. And, I accept my husband’s offer to be in partnership. It is not all up to me. I am still figuring this out and it is not always easy.

I am so thankful for the wonderful time we had as a family. I believe that the memories will become more meaningful as time goes by. And, I want to remember the lessons I learned  about Play.

Thank you for sharing in my joy as I shared about our family vacation. As I reflected on our time, it has become even more real to me. This has been a chance for me to experience it all over again.

[disclaim]How does Play show up in your life? What lessons have you learned about Play? I look forward to hearing about your experiences in the comments below.[/disclaim]