Family Reunion Reflections

Family reunions. A gathering of siblings. A camping weekend with cousins. Four days with the extended family all in one place.

What is your response when you are invited to an event like this?

Are you excited? Or is there a measure of anxiety as to how it will turn out? Maybe you feel a mix of emotions.

The idea of attending a family reunion can create a variety of reactions in family members. I just returned home after a family weekend at the lake. This was no small event. There were 32 of us ranging in age from a little over one year to age 65. Some of us meet regularly. Others hardly know each other.

I am one of those people who anticipates a family reunion with mixed feelings. On one hand, I love the idea of nurturing family relationships. And I wonder, how will I manage the tumultuous energy of so many people in close quarters for four days?

I am learning about the power of setting an intention for myself in my business life and with my coaching clients. What would it be like to prepare for the reunion in this way? I see the positive benefits in many areas of my life. And, somehow, I have not applied this to my ‘family life’ in the same way.

Here is what I did. I sat quietly and thought about what I wanted to experience. How did I want to show up? I imagined what the time might look like. I dreamed about what I desired for myself. I have learned that if I follow my heart’s desires I am more fun to be with, and have more love to share with others. What did I want? Where was I at with my energy? How could I be in partnership with the rest of the family?

Here are the intentions I set for my time with my family:

• To take care of my energy. To be active when I wanted to and to get rest when I needed it.
• To notice what I wanted in the moment, and be true to myself.
• To release my role as the ‘oldest’ child, the one in charge who is responsible for everyone else’s happiness
• to ‘let go’ of how things turned out, to surrender the outcome of events and scheduling
• To have fun, to laugh and play
• To be a curious listener and to give others time to speak
• To be on the lookout for examples of love
• To appreciate what was happening in all its messiness and complexity

The magic began the moment we arrived at the lake. And it continued for the entire time. I had a wonderful and rich time with my family.

I am here to celebrate a weekend to remember!

Some of the gifts I received are:

1. Laughter
– the belly laugh of my two year old great-niece as she played with her grandma
– the tears of laugher during a crazy card game with the cousins
– the delighted smiles when the ice cream bars were handed out for dessert
– giggles and guffaws during a rowdy game of Improv Story Telling

2. Surprises
– the shock of the cold water as I dove into the lake
– a spectacular fireworks display across the water on Canada Day
– the storm that came up with blustery winds, thunder and lightening late one evening
– the ease of a lazy summer afternoon as everyone found their places to read, sunbathe and doze
– the imagination and creativity of the young children as they played in the sand and the water
– the story-telling skills of my 5 year old grand daughter as she described how her father flipped off the tube in the middle of the lake. Her eyes sparkled and her words tumbled out with great expression!
– I surprised myself as I chose to care for myself throughout the weekend. I swam, read and walked when I wanted to. And, I realized that when I was rested and content, I had extra energy for the people around me.
– I was able to surrender to the flow of the day and by doing this, I was happy and relaxed. What a fun surprise that was!

3. Nature’s Abundance
– the light playing on the water
– the lapping of the waves on the beach….a rhythmic lullaby as I relaxed on my beach chair
– clouds constantly shifting and creating new patterns
– an eagle diving for a fish and then fighting off the smaller birds that threatened to steal its meal
– the mountains and the hiking trails
– the wild flowers along the lake path
– fresh berries and fruit to enjoy

4. Collaboration in Community
– preparing meals together with family members from far away
– enjoying the rotation of clean up chores shared by all
– conversations across generations
– story time in the shade surrounded by my grandchildren on a hot afternoon
– brunch at a local cafe where the hotcakes got a ‘thumbs up’ from my hungry grandsons
– the ‘big’ cousins playing cheerfully with the toddlers

5. Seeing Love in Action
– impromptu hugs from my three year old grandson as he grabbed me around the knees and then ran off to play
– big smiles of joy as I splashed in the water and lounged on the air mattress with my grandchildren
– seeing my nieces and nephews caring for their young children with such confident kindness. – Drying their tears, changing their diapers and parenting with exquisite partnership
– the hours my brother-in-law spent driving the boat so the ‘kids’ could wake surf, tube and enjoy a boat ride on a hot summer afternoon
– the preparation that was done by my sister and her husband before we all arrived so that we all felt welcome and at home

6. Courageous Conversations
– debates about life, faith and philosophy and a willingness to be open to each others’ ideas
– checking out assumptions and clearing up misunderstandings
– deep listening and loving acknowledgment of each others’ experiences
– vulnerable sharing about life, about our aging parents and our relationships as siblings at this time of life

My heart is full as I reflect on the time spent with my family. I am struck by the power of love. I am grateful for the intentions I set and how they were met. I am already looking forward to the next family reunion!

I would love to hear how your summer family gatherings are going. Please share your stories with me below. Happy Summer!