I was enjoying a summer evening of pleasure. Relaxing among the flowers of my courtyard, and reflecting on the beauty of the long-lasting light, I was content.
Suddenly I felt it. A shooting, stinging sensation. Totally unexpected. No warning. No time to defend myself. Just sudden intense pain in my leg. I jumped up and a wasp fluttered to the ground. I stared at this little creature that had startled me so.
This ‘little wasp sting’ became a part of my life over the next few days. Hot, red, tight and swollen….my leg hurt!
My first reaction was shock and denial. What? How did this happen? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Then I got resentful and upset. I couldn’t sleep because of my sore, itchy leg. I got irritable and edgy. All of my life was affected and there was little pleasure to be found. I became impatient and wondered, would I ever feel better? My focus was on what was wrong, what I couldn’t change.
I began to wonder, is there a better way to deal with this? What would happen if I accepted my situation and compassionately cared for my body, rather than fighting the discomfort with my irritation and resentment? I chose to surrender rather than resist.
Ice packs and anti-histamines gave some relief. I slept when I felt lethargic. I breathed into the discomfort. I accepted that ‘wasp stings happen’. Yes, it felt personal because it happened to me. And, the wasp did not ‘choose’ me. I happened to be there. It was not my fault. I shared my ‘wasp sting story’ with others. Even my six year old grand daughter had her story to share. Somehow knowing I was not alone comforted me. Even though my leg was still swollen and painful, I trusted that with time I would heal and I felt relaxed and calm.
As I moved through this experience, I reflected on the ‘stings of life’ and how I respond to them. Sometimes life offers a surprising upset. I have not planned for these events. They happen with no warning and for no reason that I can see. Nothing I do can prevent them.
I feel pain. Shock. Intense sorrow. These feelings don’t just disappear and I may even feel deeper grief and sadness as the days go by.
There is the sting of a friend discovering a lump and waiting for the biopsy report. The sharp pain when a friend’s future grand-baby dies at 21 weeks, leaving so many questions and broken dreams. The jolt of sorrow when I hear that my 3 year old great-niece doesn’t have long to live. The news that a dear soul-sister is moving across the country leaves a hole in my heart. And, then I learn that a beloved family pet, a cat of 18 years, has died. Really? More loss?
How does my wasp sting relate to the pain that life brings me? Surrender is key. What does this look like?
This is not about denying my sorrow, my anger, my grief. Rather, as I cry and ache all over, I choose to enter into the experience. I embrace the healing of tears. I seek serenity and peace in my surroundings as I allow myself to sleep when I am tired. I remain patient, taking one step at a time on this journey of grief. I take action to care for myself by asking for help and nurturing my spirit through meditation and walks in nature.
I could not rush the healing of my leg. And I can not hurry up and get the grieving over with. Whatever time it takes is what it will be.
My leg still shows the marks of the sting. I look at it and welcome the reminder to surrender to the unexpected stings that life brings.
Have you ever been stung by a wasp? I would love to hear your experience. Tell me about it in the comments below.
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