I am back home!
After five weeks of living in hotels and other people’s homes, we were able to move into our newly restored home. I am experiencing deep joy as I organize cabinets, sit and bask in the sunlight streaming into our windows and watch my husband hang pictures. We are enjoying a sense of ‘starting again’ as we settle in.
[pullquote width=”300″ float=”right”]Home is where the Heart is[/pullquote]
We were fortunate to have beautiful places to stay during the renovation process. The two homes we booked were luxurious and comfortable, with gracious hosts.We had planned a trip to Mexico months ago, and it was a treat to play in the warm sunshine and enjoy a vacation while our house was in upheaval. Abundance was evident in so many ways.
Even though we had wonderful places to stay, it was not an easy time for me. I often felt uprooted and restless. I struggled with settling into a routine and sometimes it seemed as though my life was on hold.
I am relaxed and contented now that I am living in my own home. I embrace the comfort and familiarity of ‘my things’. I enjoy preparing meals and having friends visit. I love sleeping in my own bed. Even the ‘work’ of unpacking has been fun.
As I think about the experiences I have had over the past few months, and the emotions that have come up for me, I am struck by the question:
What is home for me?
What if I could be at home no matter where I was living? Is home limited to a physical location? What might it look like to ‘come home to myself’?
When I think of home, I imagine a place of safety and security. Home is a place where I am accepted. A place where I can be myself and trust that I will be loved. Would it be possible to carry this experience of love and belonging with me to the different places where we lived?
I was able to create a ‘home away from home’ in each of the places where we stayed. I know that my external environment affects how I feel, and I experimented with building a space that is life-giving for me, no matter where I was staying.
Here are some of the things I did to feel at home:
- I created a ‘sacred space’ for myself. My morning ritual is important to me, and so I brought a candle, a red soapstone heart and my journal to help me start the day.
- I packed a special table cloth or shawl to remind me of home.
- I went for regular walks in nature. When I am by the river or walking in the woods, I feel at home.
- I bought myself a bouquet of fresh flowers. When I walked into the room, I smiled at their beauty.
- I cooked my favourite foods. I made a big pot of vegetable soup and the aroma of sauteed onions and garlic was ‘just like home’.
- Music feeds my soul and I listened to favourites that lifted my spirits, and soothed my heart.
- I stayed in touch with my loved ones. I found that my friends and family were eager to visit me in my new homes! I felt connected and centred as a result of their visits.
- I consciously cultivated a spirit of gratitude during this time and as a result I was able to see the abundance in my life.
- I practiced self-compassion when I slipped into the darkness of impatience and the swirl of self-pity. I acknowledged that this was a tough time for me and I gave myself extra love and care.
The saying, ‘Home is where the Heart is’ has new meaning for me. I am intrigued by the idea that my home is not limited to a physical location. I can come home to myself through writing, reflection, and the support of my trusted friends. I also remind myself that this is an on-going process.
I give myself time to feel the loss of my home, and to grieve. I am a human that longs for a physical place to call home. I am aware of the mix of emotions that are part of being me. I smile as I remember that life is kind and loving in the midst of upheaval and messiness.
I am grateful for the experiences of the past few months. There are many more things for me to learn about myself, and I am open to the richness of growing self-awareness and deep compassion for myself.
0 Comments