Recently I was asked to speak to a group of runners who were training for their very first race. My goal was to offer the idea that running is a metaphor for life, and to support the runners as they faced this new challenge. I had not run for many months, even though I have a box full of medals from the races I have completed over the years. Was I still qualified to speak ‘as a runner to runners?’
I started running again. I realized that I was starting over, and that even though I used to run long distances, I no longer had the same stamina and strength. So, I walked more, and ran slowly. And, reflected, ‘what is it that kept me going when I was running marathons?’
These are the ideas that accompanied me on my runs. I talked about them to the runners that night and related them to running. And, I offer them to you as a guide to reaching any goal that you may have in life. You don’t have to be a runner to benefit from these five secrets!
The first secret is to create a vision. Think about your goal. What is your reason for taking on this challenge? What is the ‘why’ that fuels your desire? One thing you could do is visualize what it will be like to complete your goal. I used to fall asleep imagining the cheering when I would cross the finish line and I felt the medal being placed around my neck. I felt the sense of joy and pride I knew would be mine. This vision kept me going on many of my long runs when I was tempted to quit and take a cab home!
Share your vision with others. Write it down. Really see yourself accomplishing this goal, and feel it in your body. This will increase your sense of possibility and you will feel empowered. Your thoughts affect your physiology and your actions. This is one way you can create the experience you want to have as you start the path to success.
The second secret is Consistent Action. There is no substitute for consistency in anything you set out to do. You may think you are not making any progress. As a runner, there were times I thought I was ‘running backwards’. My body was sore, my times were slower than ever and I felt discouraged. It was then that I reminded myself that I just had to keep going. I trusted that as I kept at it I would be rewarded.
There is a ‘tipping point’ that happens in many long term projects. This could include learning a new language, a new dance step or a weight loss goal. Often there is the temptation to give up and discouragement sets in. This is often when people quit. This is exactly the time to keep on! As you move through this dark place and stay focused on your vision, you will come through to renewed strength and hope. Many successful people attribute their victory to consistency, not brilliance or luck.
This leads me to consider the next secret: Compassion and Care for Yourself. Think about the words you tell yourself when you are feeling discouraged. If you are like me, you will say things like, ‘you lazy so and so’. ‘How could you be so stupid?’ ‘When are you ever going to learn?’
Sound familiar? I don’t know about you, but I would never talk to others the way I talk to myself.
This language affects your whole body and spirit. Your brain will focus on fixing a problem, taking away the energy that could be used for you to learn that new skill and enjoy yourself.
Here is another way to be with yourself at these times. Imagine a friend is talking to you about their discouragement. They tell you all the negative things they think about themselves. What would you say to them? Now, I invite you to tell yourself the things you would tell your friend. Take your time and imagine how you might have love and compassion for yourself. Say the words out loud. Write them down. Maybe even send yourself an encouraging text!
This will actually change the physiology of your body. Your cortisol levels will go down and you will have a sense of calm and hope. You will notice your breathing is deeper and you will have more energy for your goal. You might be surprised to find you are smiling and your muscles are relaxed and at ease. Try it and see for yourself!
Caring for yourself is a foundation for success. I learned that rest days are as important as the running days. Muscles need time to repair. Rest days and time off are necessary for other projects as well. Nourishing food, drinking lots of water and paying attention to your body are other key actions for completing your goal. Your body will thank you when you care for it with respect.
The next secret that I discovered was being Coachable. Learning a new skill can be a humbling experience. It means I may not look good or appear competent as I am learning. I remember my first running clinic. I had no idea there were specific running clothes! I soon learned that my cotton sweatshirt and baggy pants were not the best. Especially on a rainy run. So, I got advice on what gear to get. At first I felt like an imposter. Who was I to look like a runner? I could barely run for two minutes! And, I was willing to learn from others. I watched, listened and ran with my running group. I asked questions of more experienced runners and began to see myself as a runner.
Being open to learning made all the difference for me. I realized that everyone had to start at some point in their life. As I received coaching I made new friends. I learned that people love to share their running stories, and I was giving them the gift of helping me. The coaching you give and receive along your path is an important factor in your success.
As I think about the goals I have accomplished in my life, I recognize the significance of Celebration. By this, I mean acknowledging each success, no matter how small. As Jeannine Yoder, the founder of Mentor Masterclass says, ‘Celebrations lock in behaviours that serve us well.’
In other words, when I stop to celebrate, I will remember how I felt after completing that goal, and I will want to replicate that action in order to feel that way again. Celebrating is a reward that keeps me going.
Celebrating can be done in a variety of ways. And it is best done intentionally. Take time to tell others about your accomplishments. I love the idea of bragging! Not something I was encouraged to do as a child, and I realize that this may seem odd to you. I love to hear the stories of others’ successes rather than focussing on their problems. I feel motivated and light hearted as I share their joy. How about having a ‘brag session’ rather than a ‘bitch session’? You will experience pleasure and your positive energy will encourage you and others.
Celebrating can include things like a massage, a special coffee or a movie night out. You decide! And, remember that this is not a frivolous activity. Your body will thank you because you will be relaxed and will have more energy to complete your goal. Pleasure hormones will fuel you on your run or whatever activity you are doing.
Now you know the Five Secrets! Create a vision, Take Consistent Action, Have Compassion and Care for Yourself, Be Coachable, and Celebrate.
I encourage you to choose this powerful way of creating the experience you want to have in life. I look forward to hearing from you in the comments section.
Tell us what actions you took and what happened as a result. Or share any other insights you may have.
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