It is Spring! Here on the West Coast, the blossoms and fresh green are evidence of new growth. Perhaps in your part of the world, there is mud and brown earth with no sign of green. Maybe there is even some lingering snow. Spring will come your way in its own time. Nature has its own rhythm.
Over the past year, I have been aware of the cycles of Nature and what I can learn from them.
At the end of this month it will be one year since my mother died.
Last spring didn’t feel as beautiful and life-giving to me as other years. In fact, for most of the past year, I have been in a place of quiet hibernation in my life. The seasons came and went, and I found myself with little creative energy. I took a break from my coaching business. I wrote only when I felt ready to. I slept a lot and I gave myself space to grieve.
There were other losses in my life that added to my sadness this past year. We gave up our beautiful Vancouver apartment overlooking the ocean. Our home was in upheaval with a water leak, and major repairs that were required. I felt uprooted and unsettled.
This Spring I have a sense of renewed energy and I am conscious of new beginnings.
I am loving our newly restored home. I am thankful for my health and the wise doctor who is supporting me on my health journey. I am enjoying creativity in my life. Decluttering closets and drawers, making cards using my own photos, and trying new recipes are all signs of new life for me. I am enjoying restful sleep and the quiet of early mornings when I write and then walk in nature.
I am saying yes to play. Recently I enjoyed a three day vacation with a group of women. We have been friends for many years and we got reacquainted with our younger selves as we watched ‘Anne of Green Gables’ together and celebrated our long-time connection. Sharing laughter and the concerns of our lives were all part of the mix of a joyous retreat. It was a time of refreshment and experiencing new ways of being together. Another example of new beginnings.
In the midst of my renewed energy, I have noticed what I call the ‘shadow side’ of new beginnings. There can be uncertainty and chaotic emotions.
Last week my husband’s parents moved from their long time home to a small apartment where their meals will be provided, and extra care will be available as they need it. They have been waiting for this move and are happy to make this change.
I was surprised at my reaction when I first visited them and felt a sense of sadness and anxiety. What was going on? I realized that I was reminded of my own parents’ move to an Assisted Living facility several years ago. It was a time of surprises and health challenges for them. The uncertainty of what may be ahead for my husband’s parents was a heaviness on my heart.
I chose to feel my feelings and not push them away. This is another example of ‘new beginnings’ for me. No more stuffing my sadness inside. No more numbing or pretending all was well. I journaled, I walked in nature and I talked to those I trusted about my emotions. As a result, I was able to surrender to the unknown and accept what would be. The sadness and fear moved through me and I was able to focus on what I had control over. I feel lightness and peace as I walk alongside my in-laws on their new path one step at a time.
Plants and blossoms emerge at their own pace in nature. Nothing is forced to grow until it is ready. The variety of blossoms and new growth in the woods where I walk are a beautiful reminder of this.
I want to be patient and allow my creativity to flow with ease. This may mean that projects take longer than I had planned. I am paying attention to what life is asking of me, and I trust that I am able to savour the sense of being in the flow of my life with lightness and ease. That truly would be a new beginning for me!
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I would love to hear how you experience new beginnings in your life. I have some coaching spots available and I invite you to connect with me if the time is right for you to experience a new beginning.
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