The New Year brings a mix of emotions. There is a sense of excitement at the idea of new beginnings. There may be disappointment and sadness because of what happened in the past year. The New Year also brings expectations. This year things will be different! There can be pressure to perform and to transform.
This year especially I have noticed a variety of feelings as January began. I enjoyed the fun of the holidays, and at the same time I craved quiet and rest. I have resisted the idea of ‘a new beginning’, of setting goals and resolutions.
Perhaps it is because of what I have experienced over the past few months. There has been loss, grief and unexpected challenges. I have felt helpless when death took loved ones and when my parents’ health failed. I am weary in my body and my emotions.
In the past I pushed myself to ‘start the New Year right’. This included a list of new year’s resolutions and a goal setting session. I was determined to do my part to have a successful year. It didn’t matter if I was exhausted. The calendar told me it was January and so it had to be done.
Things are different for me now.
I pay attention to my energy and when I am tired I take a break.
I notice my emotions rather than shoving them deep down and trying to ignore them. I allow sadness and fear to surface, and I ask for support when they do.
I no longer follow the mantra, ‘Marjorie Manages‘. I admit when I need help and I receive with gratitude.
I take time to be quiet and feel into what I desire as I begin 2017. Usually I look to the experts for guidance. I wonder, ‘What if I already know what to do?‘
I decide to explore what is important for me and what works in my life.
Here is what I know to be true for me.
1. Nature is my teacher
In the natural world, in North America, January is a time of hibernation and rest. As I remind myself of this, I relax into my own space of waiting. Rather than shame myself for my low energy, I accept where I am at and nurture myself instead. I give myself the gift of extra sleep, reading a book for pleasure, watching movies and saying yes to lunch with a friend. I trust that creativity will show up when it is time, just as new growth appears in the woods and gardens when the perfect time has arrived.
2. New Year’s Resolutions are not for me
In the past, when I made my list of resolutions they were based on what needed to be fixed in my life. As I focused on the problems, I became discouraged. I could not meet the expectations I had for myself and I would give up, often before the end of January.
I no longer want to live my life with what I call a ‘deficit’ mindset. I am not keen to push myself to be disciplined so I can improve. With time, I discovered another way to start the New Year.
3. A ‘Word of the Year’ can replace my New Year’s Resolutions
When I first heard about this concept, I was skeptical. It sounded too easy, too much like a magic formula that was not based on valid research. About five years ago, I decided to give it a try. I had heard that the way it worked was picking a word that embodied a quality or value that I desired for the year to come.
I took the time to imagine what this might be for me. I looked at a page of possible words and circled a few. One word kept coming back to me, and I reluctantly chose it. I had judgment about it. I didn’t like how it sounded. I wanted a word that flowed off my tongue with musical tones.
The word was ‘Effortlessness‘.
I think this word chose me, because I kept this word for two years! I learned the many meanings of the word, and discovered other words similar to it. As I held this word in my mind, I saw examples of effortlessness in my life. I would celebrate the projects that seemed easy to me, because I knew ‘my word’ was at work in my experience. And I learned that the opposite of Effortlessness was not how I wanted to live my life. So when I felt anxious and stressed, I would remember my word and it was a reminder to trust and breathe.
This year I also have a word that chose me. At first I resisted. I had fears about living from this value. In the end, I trusted that this word had something to teach me.
My word for 2017 is PLAY.
As I researched this word, I realized that it was perfect for me. Play involves being in the moment. It is an action I choose to do, otherwise it is not play. Play is creative. Play can be collaborative or solitary. Play invites others to join. It is not outcome driven. It can lead to surprises. And, it results in laughter, fun, joy and pleasure.
On my quest to learn about slowing down, enjoying each moment, and putting my energy into what I have control over, I have lots to learn about play. I want to let go of how I used to see play. It is not frivolous. I worry I will waste time. Will I be seen as lazy? What if I miss deadlines? I am willing to take the risk!
I commit to sharing with you what happens for me as I live into my word for the year.
What do you know to be true for yourself this New Year?
Would you be open to choosing a Word of the Year?
Drop me a note or share in the comments below. I would love to play with you as we begin 2017 together!
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